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Mondays with Marnie | Collateral Beauty

Mondays with Marnie | Collateral Beauty

Just Be Sure to Notice the Collateral Beauty

I was thinking about collateral damage the other day. Specifically, how my 14 year old daughter’s struggles have impacted every person in our family. Often times, the child struggling is the focus of the home. Other kids don’t feel like they have the room to have a hard time, throw a fit or break a rule. We are so overwhelmed with the child in “crisis” that the rest of us fall by the wayside. 

I have started paying more attention to and asking how each of my kids are and continue to be impacted by Chloe. To say she has been a lot is an understatement. She has challenged me as a mother more than I ever knew was possible. I have grown as a person and as a mom by being her mother. I am grateful. She is one of my greatest teachers. 

It is easy to list the collateral damage we have all experienced. Nobody wants to make her mad, so we walk on eggshells. Her brother does whatever she wants so that he doesn’t risk upsetting her. In the process, he loses his chances to stand up for what he wants. The list goes on and on.

I googled collateral damage, looking for an easy way to explain what we have all gone through. All of the sudden, I thought, “what if I googled collateral beauty?” Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about that? I found many quotes, descriptions, etc. and decided that is what I will focus on. Collateral Beauty. 

Professionally, if a deal falls apart, maybe that means I am going to meet someone else that will add beauty to my life. Maybe I never would have met them if the current deal stayed together. 

Remi, my oldest daughter wrote something about being grateful that Chloe is her sister. She expressed the traits in her that have strengthened because of her relationship with her sister. I think she said it beautifully.  The collateral beauty that Chloe has brought our family is patience, wisdom, selflessness, forgiveness, strength, empathy, faith and purpose.

Sometimes people pick a phrase for the year to remain focused on. Well, I am a little late, but my phrase for 2021 is “Be sure to look for the collateral beauty.”

P.S. YOU are beautiful.

xx, MG



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