I can remember wanting to be a mom from a pretty young age. I played with dolls and it was fun. I enjoyed taking care of them and thought I was pretty good at it. As the oldest of 5 kids, I played mom to my siblings as well. The responsibility I felt for their well being was more than a kid should feel. I remember my mom having her third child, my half brother when I was around 9 years old. She had her 4th child shortly after and was totally overwhelmed. Being the little mother and responsible oldest kid, she decided that we would share the baby duties. One night, she told me that if Phillip, the older baby, cried, I was to feed him and that if Beth, the younger baby cried, she would feed her. I stayed awake waiting for him to cry. I was going to be ready at a moments notice. I’m not sure if he cried that night or not but I assumed the role of his caretaker from then on. 

When he was going into his senior year in high school, he had become too much for my mom to handle. He didn’t listen and was not living up to his intellectual or athletic capabilities. My mom called me looking for help and guidance. I was 25 years old, working my first job out of college and a newlywed. As soon as I heard that he was not doing well, I immediately offered to have him come live in Houston with me and my husband. 

Just like that, I was a mom with a senior in high school. It was a blast. He was on the basketball team and the team went to state. He thrived in school and on the court. Entering a school as a senior can be tough but he made it look easy. He made friends easily and those kids became part of our family as well. 

I appreciate that experience because it prepared me for having my own kids. It taught me that the most important thing is to have trust and an open line of communication. Kids will make mistakes and we are there to guide them, not judge them. My house is a place where everyone feels welcome and accepted. I am not a perfect mom by any means. I make a lot of mistakes. At the end of the day, if my kids feel loved and accepted for who they are, I consider that a success. 

I hope all of the moms out there had a great Mother’s Day. This sh*t ain’t easy, but I can’t imagine anything more rewarding. 

TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD