I’m not a big fan of being told what to do, not do, say or not say. If I had to guess, I bet you are not either. In fact, I am likely going to do the exact opposite of what I am told to do in several scenarios. Last week, I was giving advice to someone (yes, they asked for it) and noticed that I kept telling the person to do this, not that, with an emphasis on telling them to stop doing things that they had been doing for a long time.

I could sense the discomfort and background annoyance of being told what not to do. They were probably thinking, “Okie, dokie, we are done here and I’m racing off to do exactly the opposite of what you’ve advised me to stop doing.” I don’t think it is because they did not agree with me. I think it frankly sounded too difficult to go cold turkey on an ingrained habit. So…..

Instead of hammering my point further, I offered a different idea. You don’t have to “not” do these things, you just have to pause for a few minutes prior to taking the action.

There are numerous studies in psychology supporting the idea that taking a moment to reflect before reacting can result in different and often more favorable outcomes. A therapist once explained it to me as the difference between responding and reacting. With texting and instant messaging, it is dangerously easy to react without taking a pause. I know that I have sent a few text messages in the heat of the moment that I later wish I had not sent.

I’m not here to tell you how to respond. I am just offering an idea to practice the pause and see how that goes. We can pause before judging, speaking, assuming and accusing.

On your mark, get set, pause!

XX,

MG

TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD