“Introverts avoid small talk because they know it is the white bread of conversation. There are no real nutrients in it. Just empty calories.”

-Michaela Chung

I have always thought that an outgoing person is an extrovert and that a quiet person is an introvert. Turns out that it isn’t quite that simple. Most people, myself included, have considered me an extrovert. I love a good party, being with friends, laughing and I have never met a stranger. That is until a certain point. 

Once the party or gathering becomes too large, I tend to check out. It’s too much. I get over stimulated and want to leave. I feel like I have run a marathon and that my energy is being drained by the minute. A friend invited me to lunch and told me “a few more girls” may join us. It ended up being a large round table of 10-12 women. Everyone was talking at once, nobody was listening to anyone but themselves and I did not know several of them. I became quiet and white knuckled through the whole thing. I felt like I needed a nap afterwards. 

Later, my friend mentioned that I really checked out during the lunch. I did not notice it at the time but realized that she had a point. I felt bad about it and sensed that others felt I was unfriendly or rude. I told my therapist that I felt badly for checking out at the lunch and he said, “I don’t think you checked out. I think you checked in. You checked in with yourself.”

That is when I realized that my battery is recharged by spending time alone. An extrovert’s battery is recharged when they are around other people. I don’t like having a workout partner, going with someone else to get my hair done, etc. I cherish the few things that I can choose to do alone. That is when I am recharging so that I can re-enter my life, enjoy the people around me and almost fool myself into believing I’m an extrovert. 

How do you recharge? 

Take a second to notice and make sure that you aren’t setting yourself up to run on empty.

TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD