I was recently talking with a few friends in relationships about the little things that bother them about their significant others. The truth is, nobody’s perfect — and if we focus too much on what frustrates us, disappointment is almost guaranteed.

We can’t change other people. In fact, people usually just become more like themselves as life goes on. Wishing they’ll change is kind of like wishing you’ll win the lottery — it might happen, but probably not.

When I was younger, I’d go to my dad whenever I needed comfort. The funny thing is, he never once consoled me. He’d tell me I had no reason to be upset — which only made me more upset. But I kept expecting a different reaction. It wasn’t until I stopped expecting something he was never going to give that I stopped being disappointed.

The same idea applies everywhere:

• Expecting a partner to express love the same way you do.
• Hoping a friend will start putting in more effort.
• Waiting for a boss to finally notice your hard work.

If you find yourself let down over and over, it might be worth checking your expectations. Ask yourself if they reflect who someone really is — or who you wish they were.

When we align our expectations with reality, we free ourselves from frustration — and open the door to more peace, understanding, and appreciation for the people in our lives.

XX,

MG