Communication. It’s complicated. Do you find yourself asking, “What did you mean by that?” or, “That’s not what I meant.”

Even more common is not anticipating or understanding the power your words have. They can be a velvet hug or a ferocious slice to your core. Throw texting in there and well, just forget it. Did you know that “I Love You” means something different than “Love U.” The seemingly tiny difference is massive.

Here are a couple of little changes that pack a huge punch:

Try this one: Instead of “I appreciate it.” Say, “I appreciate you.” Ive seen this one first hand and absolutely love it. When I get out of an Uber, I don’t say “Thanks, I appreciate it.” Instead, I say, “Thanks, I appreciate YOU.” It gets their attention.

The statement doesn’t seem automatic. They feel seen. Don’t we all just want to be seen? Here is one from when I was in the thick of raising young children: When the kids were treating me poorly, it was common for my husband to say, “Don’t treat YOUR MOM like that.” I was explaining to my therapist that this didn’t help and was needing suggestions on how to handle the situation.  He suggested one small change in what my husband said to the kids.

Instead of, “Don’t treat YOUR MOM like that, say: “Don’t treat MY WIFE like that.” Holy sh*t. Talk about a complete transformation in how the kids responded. Think about it. It’s genius.

What little tweak can you make to be received in a totally different way? Try it. I find it fascinating and fun.

TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD