There are people who listen to understand and others that listen to respond.

There is a big difference here. Are you listening to understand what is being said to you or are you listening while forming your response at the same time? I can usually feel the difference when I am in a conversation. The other person can hardly wait for me to finish my sentence because they have already formed a response and can’t wait to get it out. This is especially noticeable in an argument.  

I’ve been making a conscious effort to listen to understand. A side effect of doing this is that I respond instead of react. A therapist once told me that being centered enough to respond, rather than react can  change the dynamics of a relationship in a big way. Spouse, sibling, parent, cousin, baby daddy…etc. This applies to anyone. 

Reacting is reflexive. Responding is informed. Reacting arises from a wound driven state. Responding comes from a purpose-driven state. Whenever I feel that I have been wronged, admittedly, my first thought is to react in a way to get them back. Make them pay. With age, I have realized that the only person “paying” when I react instead of respond is me. It includes fear, walls, a victim mindset, avoidance and tactics. This moves me backwards and does absolutely nothing to the person that I think I am doing it to. 

I have spent wayyy too much money on therapy to roll around reacting to other people. In a time where there is so much volatility in our world, it has never been more important to slow down and respond instead of reacting.

Message me. Ill be sure to respond! 🙂

TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD