BACK

Mondays with Marnie | I'm Joking!

LOL

I love to laugh. Laughing until my face hurts is the best. I am fortunate to get to laugh a lot. My family is funny, we laugh a lot in my office and, well, I crack myself up too. My kids get annoyed when I’m scrolling on Instagram and make them look at every post that I find hilarious. Usually they have already seen or they don’t find it funny at all.

In the spirit of laughter being good medicine and one of my favorite things to do, here is some funny stuff (in my opinion). I didn’t write the jokes and found most of them while cracking up scrolling on Instagram.

TOP 10 DEATH THREATS CHICKS SEND:

1. have fun

2. it’s all good.

3. no worries

4. excuse me?

5. do you

6. i just think it’s funny how….

7. do what you want

8. why would i be mad

9. oh ok

10. you know what

RELATIONSHIPS:

If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from food, not relationships.

HOW TO STAY ON TOP OF THE LAUNDRY AND DISHES:

1. You can’t

2. Find a new dream

GOING OUT AFTER 8PM:

I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight but that was 2 hours ago. I was younger then, full of hope. But now I’m tired.

REAL LIFE:

Texting your husband before kids:
“I love you so much, baby! Can’t wait to see you after work!”

Texting your husband after kids: “ETA?”

QUARANTINE:

As soon as all of these restrictions are lifted, I am going to make a lot of plans that I’ll dread attending.

I hope that started your day off with a laugh! 

Cheers, MG

P.S. What should I write about next week? Lmk! marnie@marnierocks.com


TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

MARKET STATS

Mortgage applications to purchase a home fell 4% last week but were still 16% higher than a year ago. The average purchase loan amount hit another record high, $395,200. 

HAPPENING IN HOUSTON

Although plans for the 2021 baseball season still have to be finalized, an Astros spokesperson estimated that as many as 12,000 people could be accommodated for the beginning of the season!

SUPER BOWL SNACKS

Need inspo for some yummy Super Bowl bites? Check out the recipe links below!  

Cheesy Bacon Spinach Dip

Pulled Pork Ring

Pull-Apart Garlic Bread Pizza Dip

Greek Feta Dip

CURRENTLY I’M…

… going retro with my shoe game! I am loving these Nike Daybreaks – a style that was originally released in 1979!