I love to laugh. Laughing until my face hurts is the best. I am fortunate to get to laugh a lot. My family is funny, we laugh a lot in my office and, well, I crack myself up too. My kids get annoyed when I’m scrolling on Instagram and make them look at every post that I find hilarious. Usually they have already seen or they don’t find it funny at all.
In the spirit of laughter being good medicine and one of my favorite things to do, here is some funny stuff (in my opinion). I didn’t write the jokes and found most of them while cracking up scrolling on Instagram.
TOP 10 DEATH THREATS CHICKS SEND:
1. have fun
2. it’s all good.
3. no worries
4. excuse me?
5. do you
6. i just think it’s funny how….
7. do what you want
8. why would i be mad
9. oh ok
10. you know what
If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from food, not relationships.
HOW TO STAY ON TOP OF THE LAUNDRY AND DISHES:
1. You can’t
2. Find a new dream
GOING OUT AFTER 8PM:
I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight but that was 2 hours ago. I was younger then, full of hope. But now I’m tired.
Texting your husband before kids:
“I love you so much, baby! Can’t wait to see you after work!”
Texting your husband after kids: “ETA?”
As soon as all of these restrictions are lifted, I am going to make a lot of plans that I’ll dread attending.
I hope that started your day off with a laugh!
P.S. What should I write about next week? Lmk! firstname.lastname@example.org
TEA IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Mortgage applications to purchase a home fell 4% last week but were still 16% higher than a year ago. The average purchase loan amount hit another record high, $395,200.
HAPPENING IN HOUSTON
Although plans for the 2021 baseball season still have to be finalized, an Astros spokesperson estimated that as many as 12,000 people could be accommodated for the beginning of the season!
… going retro with my shoe game! I am loving these Nike Daybreaks – a style that was originally released in 1979!